Depression, Encouragement, Mental Health, Suicide

Those Dreaded “Copy and Paste To Show You Care” Posts

For those of you with a Facebook account, I know that you have seen the following post.  It’s been around for quite some time. 

“Maybe if people’s heads weren’t buried in the sand of ignorance and they took the time to understand, instead of judging and thinking it won’t happen to them because they have the perfect family, life would be a little bit easier for people that do experience this! This hits close to home for me, for family and friends who live under this shadow. The days of ‘it’ not being talked about or being taboo should be over. In the most difficult moments of life you realize who your true friends are, and the people who really appreciate you. Unfortunately, most social media ‘friends’ aren’t true friends. They will send you a “like” here and there, but, they do not take time to read your status if they see it’s lengthy. More than half will stop reading right here, or have already scrolled on to the next post on their page. I decided to post this message in support of all those who continue to battle with their mental illness. (Suicide is at an all time high). Now, let’s see who will have taken the time to read this lengthy post right through to the end. If you have read everything so far, please “like” it so that I can put a thank you on your page. More mental health awareness is urgently needed. Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean people aren’t suffering. Please, try to spare a little of your time with someone who may just want to talk (about anything). Talking can help us all to cope a little more, keeping things bottled up just makes it worse. Most people will say, “if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me, I’ll be there to help you” but will they? I believe a select few of my friends will post this, to show their support for those who may be struggling. You just have to copy and paste rather than sharing. I’d like to know who will take a minute out of their day to read this all the way to the end and then copy and paste it to their page, will you? If so, please write “done” in the comments. Thank you! Maybe if people’s heads weren’t buried in the sand of ignorance and they took the time to understand, instead of judging and thinking it won’t happen to them because they have the perfect family, life would be a little bit easier for people that do experience this! This hits close to home for me, for family and friends who live under this shadow. The days of ‘it’ not being talked about or being taboo should be over. In the most difficult moments of life you realize who your true friends are, and the people who really appreciate you. Unfortunately, most social media ‘friends’ aren’t true friends. They will send you a “like” here and there, but in reality they do not take time to read your status if they see it’s lengthy. More than half will stop reading right here, or have already scrolled on to the next post on their page. I decided to post this message in support of all those who continue to battle with their mental illness. (Suicide is at an all time high). Now, let’s see who will have taken the time to read this lengthy post right through to the end. If you have read everything so far, please “like” it so that I can put a thank you on your page. More mental health awareness is urgently needed. Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean people aren’t suffering. Please, try to spare a little of your time with someone who may just want to talk (about anything). Talking can help us all to cope a little more, keeping things bottled up just makes it worse. Most people will say, “if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me, I’ll be there to help you” but will they? I believe a select few of my friends will post this, to show their support for those who may be struggling. You just have to copy and paste rather than sharing. I’d like to know who will take a minute out of their day to read this all the way to the end and then copy and paste it to their page, will you? If so, please write “done” in the comments. Thank you!”

Each time I see someone post the above message, I have the same feelings.  I think it’s unfair to many people.  And it’s not the people you think – it’s not those who are suffering – it’s those who are in the dark.  I think it’s unfair to them.  Let me explain how and why.  And remember, these are MY thoughts.  If you don’t agree with them, that’s fine.  We are all entitled to our own thoughts. 

1.      I think the post is judgmental.  I remember the first time I saw this post and read the first line, I thought, “Well, geez, aren’t you just the perfect one?”

Is Mental Health something that should be understood by more?  Of course.  But accusing them of burying their heads in the sand of ignorance is not going to make them want to research anything.  And blaming their lack of knowing on the fact that you think they have a perfect family or life is not going to endear them to you.  I don’t think that many people are won over by a challenge to them to get smarter from someone on Facebook.  We all pretty much think we are smart enough and don’t like others telling us that we are not. 

2.     I think the post is one of those threatening posts in which the poster shames the readers with that old “copy and paste and if you don’t do so, it must mean you don’t care”. 

I hate those copy and paste threats.  I think it’s because I’d rather use my own words.   If there is a topic that I feel the need to share on Facebook, why would I use someone else’s words to do so?  Most of the time, if you read through those things, they are filled with errors, make statements that everyone knows have nothing at all to do with you, and are just so insincere.  It’s kind of like those aggravating private messages that people send you because — this is something that you MUST know, it’s VITAL for you to know, or IT’S GOING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.  Well, dang, if it’s that darn important, why are you sending the message just to me, why not send it to everyone from your Facebook wall?  And why not use your own words to let me know that it’s coming from YOUR heart?  I detest those boilerplate warnings or threats or life-saving messages.  My friends know that I’m a real big proponent of “Use your own words.”  

3.      Now, for the meat of the post – Mental Health. 

Yes, I absolutely think that Mental Health has gotten the raw end of the deal as far as Medical Advancement goes.  However, through some of the recent books I have read and some of the documentaries I have watched lately that deal with Mental Illness, we have come a long way.  It wasn’t that many years ago when people were sent to Mental Health hospitals just so that someone in the house could get a break.  Doctors have most certainly diagnosed and treated mental conditions with medicines.  So, yes, advancements have been made. 

Are there still millions who have no clue?  Absolutely.  How do we change that?  I think that the best way to change this is for those who do suffer to talk or write about our experiences.  I know that it makes it much more real for me to hear about something happening to someone who I know and care for.  It makes it REAL.  I can read books about faraway people all day long and it doesn’t make an impact on me.  But, let me read something about someone I know, and I’m all in it.  I want to find out about what it is they are suffering from.  It connects me to them.  And by making that connection, it becomes MY problem, too.   

We must make Mental Health REAL to others so that they see the importance of education.  We must make it REAL so that they can see the actual suffering.  We must make it REAL so that it becomes their problem, too.  Perhaps by making it REAL to others, we can share our suffering in such a way that it lessens the impact it has on us.  

4.       So, in the end, do these “copy and paste Facebook threats” do any good?  Maybe they do.  Maybe they encourage those of us who live with Mental Health problems to share with others on a one-to-one basis.  Maybe our friends who never imagined that we suffered will become aware of what a nasty thing Mental Illness can be.  Maybe it will help others to learn.  Maybe these posts are not so bad, after all.  Who knows?  Maybe I’m the one with the wrong ideas about them.  Maybe. 

~~Betty

7 thoughts on “Those Dreaded “Copy and Paste To Show You Care” Posts”

  1. Betty I can relate to this. For the longest I cringed at seeing these cookie cutter statuses because when I speak about mental health I use my own words because I love to write. But I admit I used to get angry because I would share my struggles with mental health on facebook and get little response. And I turned around and accused everyone of not caring; it didn’t work. It only makes people like you less when you point your finger. I just have found that facebook is not the place to discuss these issues; the blog is. Facebook is really a fake place and I don’t feel comfortable being real unless it’s a private conversation with someone. A very thought provoking post; thank you

    Like

    1. Ahhhhh, using your own words. I am such a proponent of using your own words. While there are many of us who deal with the same problems, no two people can have the exact same thoughts or responses to something. It just kills me to see people constantly use someone else’s words about something and then expect you to back them up. Use your own words, folks. It’s YOUR feelings you are talking about!

      Liked by 1 person

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