Depression, Mental Health

I’m Getting Better. Then It Got Worse. Then It Got Better. Then It Got Worse Again. Now, It’s Getting Better Again. Ok, ok. I’m Getting the Message, God.

I’m Getting Better —  Another “suck and dig and burn” session today.  In fact, it was session #2 for this week.  I had three new gobs of fungus on Monday that had to be sucked and dug out and then cauterized.  Ugh!  Then today, there were two new gobs.  More sucking.  More digging.  More cauterizing.  So, looking at the numbers, I’m getting better.  Yippee!  The problem is that these are growing at the top of the ear canal and it’s very hard to get the anti-fungal medicine to coat the top of the canal.  I’ve been told to put the drops in and then position my head upside down and let the meds soak for 10 minutes.  I guess that position sounds easy for Dr. M.  But, it’s not for me.  That’s the problem.  Do you know how darn hard it is to keep your head upside down  for 10 minutes?  In case you don’t, let me tell you — it’s hard.  I’ve found the easiest way is to sit on the seat of the commode and put my head between my legs and then sit there.  Staying in that position makes me extremely dizzy and I’m scared to death I’m going to topple over and smash my head against the tub.  To make it worse, my crazy dog thinks that she’s supposed to communicate with me during that time.  I have to keep my eyes closed to help with the dizziness and Bella constantly runs in to lick my face.  Pain in the butt dog.  But, I guess if I want this fungus to die its well-deserved painful death, I’m going to have to continue to do this 4 times a day.

Then It Got Worse — As I got off the Interstate today and headed for Dr. M’s office, I noticed that my car began to bounce and shake.  Damn.  I slowed down and it got worse.  I sped up and it didn’t help.  Still bouncing.  Still shaking.  Thank goodness at this point I was only about a block from the doctor’s office.  Made it there and had to ride around the parking lot a few times waiting for someone to leave so I could park.  Got out, looked at the tires, kicked them all a few times and decided I’d worry about it when I got through.  Did a lot of praying to God that He work his miracle so that when I come back out and get in my car it would be all better.  Great idea, but it didn’t work.  As I drove off, car was still bouncing.  Decided I’d try to find a tire shop and let them look at it before I tried to make it home.  My fear was that I’d get on the interstate and have a blow out or something horrendous.  And as much as my ear was hurting, I knew that if that happened, they would have to send the men in their white coats to get me.  Did a google search and there was a tire store just 3 blocks from the hospital so I figured I’d head there.  No deal.  It was boarded up.  Then decided to just go to Washington Rd. — surely there would be one on that main road.  Lucky me.  Pep Boys was right there.  Went in and explained what the car was doing and the guy told me it would be $89.95 for them to LOOK at the car.  Dang!  But, what do you do when you are by yourself and are 90 miles away from home?  You say, “Sure, please look at it.”  He said that they were currently working on a few cars that would be ahead of me.  No problem.  I’ll wait.  What options did I have?  None.  So, I sat down and started running all sorts of scenarios through my mind (while my ear was throbbing and meds that Dr. M. had filled my ear with were constantly draining) and was on the verge of tears when a sweet young lady named Sammy who worked at the counter came over and said that she was going to send a technician out to just check the lug nuts to make sure that I didn’t have a loose one.  She said that if that was the problem, I could be on my way a lot quicker.  Nice man came out and asked me to take him to my car.  Nope, all lug nuts fine.  Dang.  He said, “Let’s take a ride and let me see what it’s doing.”  Before we even got out of the lot good, he said that it felt like my right rear tire had a problem.  We rode down the road a bit and he said he was pretty sure that was the problem.  Back to the shop we go.  He said as soon as he had a lift empty, he’d get my car on it and let me know.  So, back I go to the waiting room to wait and ponder.  About 30 minutes later he came out and said that he had been right, the right rear tire had a huge knot on it causing the bumping.  New tire needed.  Sure.  I’m made of money.  Let’s get a new tire.  Another 30 minutes or so later, Sammy walked over to me and said, “You look like you need a hug.”  And she bent down and gave me a big hug.  Waterworks!  Waterworks!  We sat and talked for a few minutes and she told me that it shouldn’t be much longer.

Then It Got Better — The technician pulled my car up to the door (it had begun to pour rain while I had been sitting there and I’d rather take a beating than to have to drive in the rain) and I went to counter to pay.  Sammy told me that she was going to give me a 25% discount as a “Welcome to Augusta”  and “Sorry for your Problems” so she was going to waive the $89.95 fee.  Bless her heart.

As an aside, a few weeks ago, while browsing YouTube, I ran up on some Dave Ramsey videos. I’d heard of him and knew he dealt with money stuff, but had not heard how his program worked so I watched a few videos.  As those of you who know about Dave Ramsey know, he says the first thing you should do in your financial life is to have a $1000 Emergency Fund.  Sounded good to me so I started stashing some moolah into a special new savings account.  Since I had the debit card with me for this account, I decided that this was a perfect time to use this Emergency Fund.  After all, here I was, stuck 90 miles from home with a new tire being purchased.  Sounded like a perfect Emergency to me.  So, even though I certainly didn’t want to have to use it, it sure was nice to know that I could easily pay for this dang tire.  Swipe!  Done.  Woo Hoo!  Thanks, Dave.  Now, I just have to drive home in the rain.  Ugh!

Got back on I-20 with no more bumping and just like that, it quit raining.  Thank you, Lord.  Then, the traffic just about came to a stop.  Piles and piles and piles of people with North Carolina and South Carolina tags were heading west, out of harm’s way from Hurricane Florence. And we were all on I-20 together.  I surely didn’t want to drive in this awful traffic in the rain.  God knew that.  He stopped the rain.

Then It Got Worse Again — Two hours of awful traffic, ear throbbing, and legs that had been in the “down position” since 10 a.m. (it was now after 4 p.m. and I hadn’t even gotten to the Ft. Gordon area yet) were beginning to swell.  And I could feel them.  I could feel my heart beating in my ear and now in my ankles.  It was a miserable trip home.  And all I could think about all the way home was that I have to do this again in two days.  Geez, I’m so sick of driving to Augusta.  And who knows what the traffic or weather is going to be like on Friday.  I’m a pretty smart gal and I know that everybody and their brother is going to be on I-20 on Friday afternoon and I know that it’s going to be raining in the Augusta area.  But, I HAVE to be here on Friday.  The last time I waited a week to see Dr. M., the fungus had gone crazy again and we pretty much had to start over with the sucking and digging.  I don’t think I can do that again so I have to be there Friday.  I had a long talk with God while driving and have explained it all to Him so I’m going to just have faith that He helps me out with the weather and the traffic.

Then It Got Better Again — I made it home safely.  I propped my legs up and took a three-hour power nap and didn’t feel guilty one bit when I took a pain pill.  Life, for today, is better again.  I’ll worry about Friday on Friday.  And my sweet friend, Dru, has said that she will go with me Friday so I don’t have to deal with it all by myself.  So, while today has been one with a bunch of ups and downs,  it’s ending on an up.  That makes it better.

~~ Betty

3 thoughts on “I’m Getting Better. Then It Got Worse. Then It Got Better. Then It Got Worse Again. Now, It’s Getting Better Again. Ok, ok. I’m Getting the Message, God.”

  1. Oh my goodness! I was just in Augusta last week and stayed on Washington Road.. here I am almost 1000 miles away and I m ow EXACTLY where the Pep Boys you’re talking about is! The best bit about it is it’s literally right on top of I20 for heading home. Be safe 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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