Making Decisions

You Are Cool Just As You Are

There are so many things I want in life.  I want to be healthy and happy.  I want my children and grandchildren to be healthy and happy.  I want my friends to be healthy and happy.  I want to enjoy the wonderful things that this life offers.  I want to be a blessing to others.  I want the people of the world to get along.

There are also things that I don’t want in life.  One of the biggest is that I don’t want to be a decision maker.  I don’t want you to look to me for the answers.  I don’t want to constantly be the one to decide where we’re going or what time we are meeting or how long we are staying.  I don’t want to decide what you are having for supper.   I don’t want to be your interior designer.   I also don’t want you to ask me to make decisions that YOU should be making about your life.

Sadly, this “what should I do” venue is what Facebook has become (and I do love me some Facebook).  People are constantly asking other people to make decisions for them.  What in the world is that all about?  Why do you ask me, whom you may have never met before, to decide what you should do?  If you spend any time on Facebook, you know exactly what I’m talking about, especially if you belong to any of the like-minded groups there.  You know, the crafty, DIY groups that are designed so that you can share your work with others and be inspired by their work.  But, instead, it has become a group for people who have no clue how to make a decision.  Should I use this color green or that color green?  Which pattern should I use?  Should I paint this dresser teal or orange?  Should I fry these pork chops or bake them?  Should I crochet a hat or a shawl as a gift?  Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!

No, I cannot tell you whether your bedroom will look better painted gray or lavender. I cannot tell you if you would look better in orange or violet. I also cannot tell you why the dresser you have chalk painted has not sold. I’m sorry that I can’t tell you which book you will enjoy the most. I cannot tell you why your friend of 20 years has decided to not respond to your messages. I cannot tell you what to fix for supper.  I also cannot tell you if scrambled eggs or grits will be better for your child. I cannot tell you whether you should continue working on the blanket or if you should frog it and start over because you’re not happy the way the colors are working out.

There are so many things that I just cannot answer because I am not you. I don’t know your favorite colors. I don’t know what you like to read.  I don’t know the games you like to play.  I don’t know what furniture you have in your house. I have no clue what your child likes to eat. I don’t know if your husband hates anything you wear that is purple.  I don’t know if you should buy a two-swing or three-swing set for your children to play on.  Even if I knew these things, why in the world would you want me to decide for you?  Who am I to determine how you live your life?  Honestly, my thoughts and opinions don’t matter a bit when it comes to your life.

I do wish that I knew how to answer your questions because you get so upset when people don’t answer.  But, I don’t.  And I never will.  The best advice I can give is this —  Do what YOU want to do. Paint your house in the colors YOU like. If you want to paint your kitchen cabinets gray, then paint those suckers gray.  If you want to paint them red, go for it.  It’s your darn kitchen.  You are the one who has to cook in it every day.  As to your friend who won’t talk to you?  Call him or her yourself.  It’s YOUR friend of 20 years.  Ask what’s wrong.  Don’t depend on my thoughts.  I have no clue about your friend.  Listen to your child when he or she says they HATE scrambled eggs.  Pick the blanket pattern that YOU like and get busy.  I promise you’ll feel so much better in the end if you have made the decision.  And for Heaven’s sake, don’t get all uptight when you ask questions that only YOU can answer and no one gives you answers.

Be brave.  Just be you and don’t worry about anyone else’s opinions. You are cool just as you are. Don’t change for us.

~~ Betty

1 thought on “You Are Cool Just As You Are”

  1. Love your bluntness!
    I can answer two of those for you, they seem like common sense. Shawls are for old ladies….I’m talking nursing home is where you need one. It would hurt my feelings if I got a crocheted shawl as a gift, as in “Are you saying I’ve got one foot in the grave old?” As for wearing orange, if they’re from GA tell them they shouldn’t own anything orange in the first place. This is DAWG country, we bleed RED & BLACK 😀
    BTW. I just started going to counseling online for my depression, anxiety, agoraphobia & whatever other label they’ll decide to slap on me. It’ll be once a week phone or video sessions & chat messaging in between as often as I like. Cost is less than once a month visits I was paying years ago. Maybe I can get out of these funks I get into & go off grid for weeks. Let you know how it goes, I read where you mentioned stopping your visits. Thought it was something you might possibly be interested in, so much easier to talk openly when you’re not sitting right there with the therapist.
    Anyway, love this post & agree 100%
    Love you as well Ms. Betty ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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