A couple of months ago, a dear sweet lady from my church, Dot, came by to visit with me. She had previously sent me an uplifting card in the mail that had truly touched me. With her visit, she brought me a gift bag with a couple of things in it. The item that touched my heart the most was a book, “This Too Shall Pass; Keeping Faith During Tough Times.” What a blessing this book has been.
The first time I opened the book, it fell to a page on conflicts. On the page was the following scripture: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble with its tumult.” Psalm 46: 1 – 3. On the facing page was the following: “Conflicts can occur in many areas of our lives. We may have personal conflicts, work conflicts, health conflicts, and more. Even the slightest conflict can plunge us deep into turmoil. We become tense, restless, and distracted. We often cannot sleep until the issues that unsettle us are resolved or until we feel healed and safe. We must remember that God offers us peace and “refuge under the shelter of [his] wings” (Psalm 61:4). When conflicts of any kind rob us of peace, we can turn to God for refuge and resolution.” The Blessing of Conflict. Pg. 146 – 147.
I had forgotten this. I had gotten so used to trying to figure things out and fix them myself; I had actually forgotten that I could look to God for refuge and resolution. Throughout my life, I had thrown out a few pleas of “God, why are you making my life so hard?” and “God, why are you letting this happen?” and of course a few “God, I can’t do this anymore.” But, I was constantly asking God “Why?” I have always been a “why” person and am never satisfied until I can understand the “why”. And since I very seldom get to the “why”, I’m hardly ever satisfied. In talking to God, I always wanted to know the reason my life was crappy. I always wanted to know what I had done wrong. I always, always wanted God to give me answers so that I could then fix the problem myself. I’m not sure what has ever made me think that I could fix all those things that were wrong, but that has normally been my MO. I had forgotten that the reasons were not for me to know. All I needed to know was that all of this was part of God’s plan and that if I trusted Him, peace could come to me. I need to learn to turn to God when things get stressful and I cannot cope. I’m working on that.
I also found it interesting that the verse spoke of finding refuge under the shelter of [his] wings. A few weeks after having read this was the Sunday in church where our choir sang “Under the Shelter of His Wings” and I became so emotional. I kept wondering why that song had such an impact on me and finally realized that it came back to this passage in the book that Dot had given me. It was another one of those “God Conspiracies” that seems to be happening a lot lately. I wonder if those have been happening all along and I just never paid attention or if God has realized that the time is ripe to pour all these messages on me. (I know. I know. God didn’t just realize this – it’s been His plan all along to work on me at this point in my life, right?) Whatever it is, I’m getting the hint, God. I hear you speaking to me. Can you hear me speaking to you?
THOUGHTS ABOUT MY THOUGHTS: The passage about the “shelter of His wings” has been running though my head all day and I knew I had to write about it. I have found that writing eases my mind. Kind of cool how that’s working.
TODAY’S FEELINGS BAROMETER: Today is my oldest grandson’s nineteenth birthday. I’ve been thinking about what was going on 19 years ago. I was so very excited to become a grandmother and that I was going to get to be in the delivery room. What a blessing. It’s been a peaceful day with good thoughts running through my mind.